Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
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It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
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Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think i got beer on your cat.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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