Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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