Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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