last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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