So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
