Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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