why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
okay pat passed out under dana's car
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
