I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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