Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
