CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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