I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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