in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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