At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
