It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
