Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Do you have feelings for this penis?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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