R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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