I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize