By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
do nipples grow back?
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