In America we eat man semen.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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