Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
