Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
