I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
