He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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