Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
