Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize