so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
