I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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