just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
