his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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