Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
