Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
