summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
