The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
