Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
