see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
