can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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