Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
