I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
