drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize