My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
