I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize