im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
