is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
