she looked like the before picture.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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