I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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