I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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