oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
