I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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