so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
