At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
