So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
