Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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