we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
