i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
