when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
