i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
