So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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