quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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