I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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