More tranny stories later!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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