goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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