I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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