Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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