Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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