She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My life is pants optional.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize